


Conjectural Technologies: Finances

by yay_for_absurdism



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Blow Jobs, Brock just makes an appearance at the end, Kissing, M/M, White needs to be better at hiding his porn, just the tiniest bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 10:08:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15022295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yay_for_absurdism/pseuds/yay_for_absurdism
Summary: Figures that White would hide his porn in the folder named “Conjectural Technologies: Finances”.Billy accidentally finds White's porn and things escalate from there.





	Conjectural Technologies: Finances

“ Goddamnit.”

Billy sighed in exasperation as, for the second time today, his computer randomly shut itself off, replacing the email he was trying to write with a painfully bright blue screen.

“ Not again.”

For a moment he watched the little white lines of coding flash across the screen, but then shut the laptop. He was a genius but was not, for all intents and purposes, an IT guy. Could he fix his computer if he really needed to? Of course. But that wasn’t his job.

But would White help him? No, of course not. That asshole was too busy playing video games or napping or whatever to actually be of use.

Hoping off the couch, Billy crossed the trailer to the kitchen area, where White’s computer sat on the table. “ White, I’m using your computer.” He called out as he climbed up into the booth.

His friend’s voice came from the direction of the bathroom. “ I’d rather ya didn’t.”

“ Oh shut up.” he flipped the laptop open, typed in his friend’s password. “I’m not going to go through your porn or anything, I just need to send an email.”

Silence for a moment, then a weak, “Okay.”

It wasn’t fair how White’s computer was so much nice and newer than his own. None of the keys were threatening to fall off and the top corner of the screen wasn’t permanently tinted green. Sending an email was much less of a hassle, wow, the Internet was so fast. The speakers probably actually worked too.

White was such an ass. Keeping all the useful tech to himself. Next time they made money, Billy was going to demand he get a new computer.

Shutting the tabs he’d used, Billy caught a glimpse of White’s screensaver. It was the smiling face of a pretty blond lady with hair straight out of the eighties. If Billy wasn’t mistaken, it was the mother from that old TV show, Growing Pains, whatever her name was. White had mentioned her once or twice when drunk. Ew.

Looking around, the albino was still nowhere to be seen. Well, since he was here and White deserved to have some snoop around his computer…

It was easy to find. Figures that White would hide his porn in the folder named “Conjectural Technologies: Finances”.

Honestly, Billy hadn’t been quite sure what he was going to find, but he wasn’t the least bit surprised that it was at least 90% gay porn.

Well _of course_ White was gay.

The way he talked. The way he walked. For god’s sake, the way he dressed. So what if his lucky shirt had been red when he first got it, it was pink as all hell now. Having a parasol did nothing to help. And those tights, as much as White always insisted _they aren’t tights they are pants!_ pants were not meant to be so thin and cling to one’s legs so tightly and look so damn good.

Oh fuck, now he was sounding gay.

Hey, he could admit White was handsome. He could admit that much. He was tall and thin and had really nice legs and his edge-lord haircut actually looked really good on him. He had those long fingers and long nails and eyes that shouldn’t be as alluring as they were but damn, somehow bright pink framed by wispy white lashes was fucking hot.

So maybe he was at least marginally attracted to White.

Honestly though, if White wasn’t so lazy and didn’t have such an annoying personality, he’d probably be pretty popular.

“ Billy!”

Oh shit.

He was almost shoved onto the floor as White leapt forwards and scooped up his computer. Slamming the laptop shut, the albino glared down at Billy, looking pretty ridiculous in a dirty tank-top and pink boxers and bangs going every which way, cradling a computer tightly to his chest as if his life depended on it. Billy almost would have laughed if it weren’t for the look in White’s eyes, all that anger and surprise and embarrassment and guilt. Why was there always guilt?

“ Ya said ya wouldn’t!” White whined, “ Billy, ya said-!”

“ Don’t make it so easy to find, then!”

“ But-!”

“ You would never put actual work stuff in such a well-named folder!”

White deflated. Still holding his computer close, he turned to leave, shooting his friend a heated glare as he ran off. But with how sunny it was outside he couldn’t go far, so Billy heard him disappear to the other end of the trailer.

Well shit.

Sighing, Billy hopped down from the booth. The last thing he needed, ever, was a sulky, pissed off White. That was insufferable and would make them both miserable for anything from an hour to three days. Worst case scenario, White would buy something stupid (like cocaine) with whatever money they had left.

So it would be better to go resolve this promptly.

Also, Billy did not like seeing White upset.

The computer was siting on a shelf (too high for Billy to reach), and White was curled up in bed, hiding underneath the sheets. Great. He was definitely sulking.

He waited a couple minutes, and then spoke.“ White.”

“ Go away.”

Billy pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. “ White, I’m sorry.”

After a good ten minutes of silence, there was some shuffling and White peeked his head out from under the covers. He was still glaring but didn’t look nearly as angry anymore; he looked more like a kicked puppy, and it would have been funny if it wasn’t making Billy feel guilty.

“ I shouldn’t have snooped around your computer.”

“ You’re right, ya shouldn’t have. You’re an ass.”

For a while they were silent; after a while White crawled out from under the blankets and sat beside the shorter man, picking at the hem of his shirt with his long nails.

“ You know,” Billy said, eventually, “you could have told me.”

“ Told ya what?”

“ That you were gay.”

White sputtered, indignant. “I like girls too!”

“ Okay, okay, whatever you say.”

“ Billy!”

“ There’s no problem with being gay.”

For a moment White was silent, and when he spoke his voice was very quiet, “ I’m already enough of a freak. I don’t need to be gay too.”

As if just being an albino really qualified you as a freak. “ Oh, come on White-,” but he stopped, because his friend was making an expression he had rarely, if ever, seen. It was more than just the ever-present guilt, no, now there was shame in his eyes too. So much shame. Okay, so obviously this was a much deeper-seated issue than Billy had initially thought.

He sighed, and placed a small hand on White’s knee. “ White, you know that there are people who don’t care about that. Like me. I don’t care if you’re gay. It doesn’t make you more of a freak. Trust me. You’re still you. You’re still my friend.”

After a moment of hesitation, White finally gave him a small smile. “ Thanks, Billy. That means a lot to me.”

But something was still wrong, that smile was still too sad. “ Now what’s the problem?”

The smile immediately faded. “ Eh?”

“ You’ve still got that look.” Underneath his hand, he could fell White’s knee start to shake.

“ Don’t ask.”

“ But White-“

He looked anxious, worried. “ Don’t.”

“ For fuck’s sake I’m trying to help-”

“ No.”

“ White, I swear to god-“

“ Fine!” he threw his hands up, exasperated, “ if you really want to know again-“

“ Again?”

“ -Even if I’m gay, it doesn’t matter, because,” he jabbed a finger accusingly in his friend’s face, “ you aren’t!”

Billy didn’t mean to, but he gasped. Hey, it was a surprise. But he immediately regretted it when White gave him a really pitiful glare that might have been intended to be angry but was just hurt.

“ W-Wait,” he stuttered, shocked, “White, do you-“

“ Don’t say it, Billy.” The albino put his hands over his face, hiding the bright red embarrassment that colored his cheeks. “ I can’t do this every time-“

“ Do what every time?”

“ I…I mean, just forget I said anything, okay. Please?”

“ No.”

It was White’s turn to look surprised, and he peeked over his fingers to look at his friend.

“ I’m not going to ignore something as important as- “ oh, how to phrase it? “-you liking me.” Nice. Very childish-sounding.

“ But-“

“ Shut up, White. Honestly. Why the hell did you never tell me this?”

“ Why would I?”

“ Why wouldn’t you?”

“ There was never any point, ya wouldn’t return my feelings.”

“ Why wouldn’t I?”

It didn’t really sink in what he’d said until a few moments later and he saw the look of surprise/confusion/ _hope_ /pain on his friend’s face. “ I-I mean-“

“ What do ya mean, Billy?”

“ I mean, I guess, I’m not going to say I never thought about it-“

“ About what?!”

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “ About you and I, White. I mean, you are my best friend and I really care about you and you’re really handsome, and whenever I think about it I’m not really opposed to the idea-“

His sentence was cut short as his breath was knocked out of him, for White bent down and pulled him into a crushing hug. Billy hadn’t thought his friend’s skinny arms could even hold this kind of strength (White was pretty damn wimpy). Awkwardly, Billy tried to hug back, but with his short arms and White hugging him so tightly all he could manage was a pat on the arm. He wasn’t quite sure what to do in this situation and he didn’t know what else to say. An awkward pat would have to do.

Then White sighed, “ Every time, why do ya gotta be like this?” He lamented, voice muffled as his face was pressed against Billy’s chest. “ I can’t take it.”

“ Every time? Honestly, White, what the fuck are you talking about?”

He never got an answer, because White’s hands were suddenly holding his face and White’s lips were against his and they were kissing, White was kissing him full on the lips and it was good. No, great. It was amazing. His lips were somehow so soft and his hands were so gentle and he just seemed so sweet and needy _it was weird_ but still so right.

“ Billy,” White breathed, one hand sliding back to cup the back of Billy’s head, “ Kiss me back.”

He did.

He gripped the front of White’s shirt and pulled him close, deepening the kiss. And White just melted into it, holding him tightly. He could feel the albino smiling against his mouth, and then felt White’s tongue prodding at his lips, urging him to open his mouth.

He did.

Billy had never done much of the kissing-with-the-tongue thing, but if he were to judge how he was doing on the way White was clinging to him and the _noises_ he was making, he was probably not doing to bad. He was almost proud of himself.

White’s hands slid down, from cupping Billy’s head to resting on his shoulder. Those long, slender fingers held him tightly, and Billy could feel the faint pressure of his friend’s long nails through the thin fabric of his shirt. Then those fingers passed across his chest, down his torso, to rest on his hips. As his hands continued to travel lower, so did his lips; White kissed down Billy’s jaw, his neck, the bit of his chest that was exposed. Billy was breathing heavy and maybe starting to feel a bit lightheaded, White’s lips on his skin felt so good. Too good. He honestly couldn’t form coherent thoughts and it might have freaked him out if he wasn’t so focused on _how fucking good_ White was at this.

Then the pressure of White’s lips was gone, and the albino slid off the bed to kneel on the floor. White looked up at him with those big pink eyes, and for a moment Billy just stared back, raising an eyebrow in confusion, but then White’s hands moved to his waist and began unbuckling his belt and _oh-_

“ W-White, what are you doing?”

“ Ya know what I’m doing, Billy.” He said, matter-of-factly, finished with the belt and starting to work on the button and zipper.

“ Yeah, but-hey!”

White pulled his pants off with a harsh tug and tossed the garment aside. “ If ya don’t want me to, I won’t.” he said, softly, looking up with those bright eyes through pale lashes and _god_. Billy had never had a problem saying no to White when the albino asked for ridiculous things, but how could he turn down that face, he looked like he was almost _begging_ and it was so damn beautiful.

Plus, they could both see the small but obvious tent in Billy’s underwear.

“ Okay, fine. Do…do what you want.”

A soft, genuine smile lit White’s features and Billy couldn’t help but smile back. But the smile was quickly replaced with, well, he didn’t quite know what kind of face he was making, when White pulled off his underwear, leaned forwards, and wrapped those soft lips around his cock.

Billy bit back a slew of curses and nonsensical noises and moans, gripping the bed sheets tightly at his sides. He hadn’t had someone go down on him in ages and he had not remembered it feeling this good. Holy hell. White was so good at this. Damn.

Letting go of the bed sheets, he reached out, tentatively, and let his small hands rest on top of White head. God his hair was so soft, slipping from between his fingers like strands of silk. Raking his fingers through White’s hair, he pushed his bangs back, out of his face, to see both of those pink eyes looking up at him. And like that, face flushed, bright eyes gazing up, mouth around Billy’s cock, that was almost enough to send Billy over the edge. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands closing into fists, but he quickly opened his eyes when he heard White made a little noise of pain.

Looking down, he could see White’s hair stuck in the joints of his metal hand.

“ Sorry.” he mumbled, gently detangling the hair from his joints and pulling his metal hand back.

But White reached up, gabbed his wrist, placed that small hand back on his head, and turned his attention back to the task at hand.

Billy knew he wasn’t going to last long. Not with White looking so good and sucking so earnestly and doing _that thing with his tongue_. And it was almost like the albino could sense it; Billy could see White pretty much smirk as he closed his eyes and opened his mouth wide, stretching his lips to take in Billy’s cock _and_ balls, and that was too much, it was amazing, Billy’s grip on White’s hair tightened and he came, gasping his friend’s name.

Holy fucking shit.

As he came down from the high, he felt White swallow and then pull back, reaching up to pry Billy’s finger from his hair. The pale locks were stuck in the metal joints again, and the albino winced as he had to pull a few strand of hair out to free Billy’s hand.

For a moment they were both silent, White kneeling on the floor of the trailer as Billy caught his breath and slowed his racing heart. He didn’t know what to say, or if he could say anything much right now, so the only coherent noise that fell from his lips was, “ Wow.”

White stopped finger-combing his bangs back into place to meet his friend’s gaze. “ Was…was that okay?”

“ Okay? White, that was great. How are you so good at that?”

The albino adverted his gaze, looking down at the trailer’s dirty carpet. “ I’ve…done it before. Quite a bit. In college.”

Billy took his gloomy tone as a hint not to press any farter. He reached down, far as he could, and placed a hand on White’s head. White gave him a funny look, but it softened into a smile and he took Billy’s hand in his and held it firmly.

“ I’m glad ya liked it.”

White stood up, groaning and complaining about his knees and how hard the trailer floor was. Billy couldn’t help but chuckle, at least White was acting like normal again. That serious, shame-and-guilt filled look didn’t suit him.

The albino tossed Billy his discarded clothes and then sat back down on the bed. As he shimmied back into his pants, Billy looked over, and for the first time noticed how hard White was, a very obvious erection straining within his faded pink underwear.

“ What about you?“ Billy asked, gestured at White’s crotch.

White’s gaze followed Billy’s finger. “ Oh, I’m fine.” He replied, quickly, and crossed his legs, “ Don’t worry about me.”

“ Are you sure?”

“ It’s fine.”

Alright, fine, if White wanted to blue-ball himself, let him. He sighed, suddenly very tired. The high had definitely worn off. “ Okay then. I think I’m going to have a nap now.”

“ I’ll join ya.”

In a minute the two were tucked under the covers, Billy lying on his back and White curled up beside him, head resting on Billy’s chest. It was comfortable (for Billy at least, from his vantage point White’s neck looked like it was bent at a weird angle but whatever), and he sighed happily. “ Do you think we should talk about this?” he asked.

White let out a grunt of annoyance. “ Later. For now, can we just stay like this?”

“ Okay, okay.”

Wrapping his arms around White’s shoulder, Billy looked down to see a few strands of pale hair still stuck in his metal joints. “ Oh. Sorry, I pulled your hair a bit there at the end.” he apologized, picking those stray strands out of his fingers and dropping them on the bed.

“ Nah, it’s fine.” White waved off his concern. “ I didn’t mind.”

“ What, you liked that?”

“ Maybe a bit.”

He chuckled. “ Really?”

White buried his face against Billy’s chest. “ Shut up.”

He did. The two lay there, in peaceful silence, for god knows how long. Billy had no desire to move or get up or do anything, he was oddly serene, content, who knew that finding out your best friend had a crush on you would fill your heart with such warmth. So he lay back, lazily running his non-metal hand through White’s hair, until he dozed off with a smile on his face.

……

Soon Billy’s breathing slowed and he drifted into sleep. White could feel his little chest rise and fall, and he almost let it lull him to sleep. How great would it be to just lie here, so comfortable and happy, and fall asleep too? But with a sigh, he slipped out from under the covers and got up. Outside, the sun was setting, the last of those dangerous rays disappearing behind the desert hills and painting the sky a vivid blood-red. Good timing, at least.

Taking his computer from where it rested on the shelf, White sat on the floor and booted it up. As he waited, he glanced up at the bed, where his friend lay, peacefully sleeping. On their shitty bed in their shitty trailer. He sighed again. Better get this over with before Billy woke up.

Quickly, he changed the “Conjectural Technologies: Finances” folder to “CT Things”. There, now it wasn’t so well-named. Hopefully that would keep it hidden. Then he pulled out his cellphone, typed in a number he always dreaded entering, and held it up to his ear.

“ Hello, Goldilocks? This is Casper-“

......

“ Wipe half the day?” Brock asked, raising an eyebrow as he easily took Billy’s unconscious body from White. “Well you sure took your time bringing him here, seeing as you live just down the road.”

The albino shrugged, jamming his hands into his pockets. “ There were some complications.” He mumbled.

In reply Brock just chuckled. “ So you fucked again, eh?”

“ I…You…!” White sputtered, giving the bodyguard a withering glare. “ No! How dare you-!”

“ Relax, I ain’t telling anyone. But really, you’re obviously gay. Don’t know why you bother to hide it.”

“ I like women too!”

“ Okay.” Brock flicked his cigarette onto the pavement and stamped it out. “ Whatever. I don’t know why you don’t want him to know.”

“ If you were pining after the person who trusted you most, wouldn’t you try to hide it?!”

Brock gave him an odd look and grunted, which was not helpful in the least.

“ Look, it’s not like I can tell him.” White said, following the bodyguard through the compound. “ I’ve already ruined his life enough. I don’t need to do anymore to make him miserable. I…I don’t need to burden him with my feelings.” He sighed,” It’s not like I have any right to love him, after all. He would be much better off never knowing about it, don’t you think?”

“ Eh?” Brock looked down at him, “You’re still talking?”

“ Hey!”

“ But anyways, you really gotta do something about _this_. The memory wiping is supposed to be for when he remembers the O.S.I. business, and only for when he remembers the O.S.I. business.”

“ But-“

“ This is the last time, White. I’m serious. Next time you gotta figure it out on your own.”

As they entered the lab, White dearly hoped there would not be a next time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm maybe probably working on a sequel that has a happy ending.
> 
> Come see some of my Venture Bros fanart on my Tumblr http://darknebulablader.tumblr.com


End file.
